new theme: reminiscence & nostalgia- graduation

''Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus.''
Phil 3 v 14-15

i went to Jessica's graduation yesterday. it was a nice day. i like graduations; so full of hope for a new future. young people coming out into the 'real world', hoping to make an impact on the society, hoping to earn money, hoping to start a new life for themselves. i also love the parents. the proud mother and father who have brought their son or daughter up and is finally able to see the joy of them finishing their education. i love the way the parents look so smart and proud. i was sitting and waiting with Kate whilst Jessica went to have her photo taken. we overheard the people next to us. the parents wanted their daughter to stay with them because it was 'family day', yet the daughter replied 'this is my day, i've worked three years for this and i want to see my friends'. she didn't say it in a horrible way, but it didn't sound well for the ears. maybe we're all like that. selfish, forgetting why we're here and how we got here and just focus on ourselves. just as paul said; yes, we should forget the past. but that should be our past sinful nature and focus on reaching forward for God.

the photo is a bit blurry. that wasn't done on purpose. but i quite like it. it's almost like, yes...a relief and joy that graduation has finally come and you can move on, but also, the hopefully picture is a blur cuz life is not that easy-coming. i think back to my own graduation and i really can't remember much of it or of how i felt. all i know now is that I really aint moved on much from that day. I'm still in the same place, doing the same things. pretty damn useless. that's why i'm nostalgic about the past, cuz i wish that i had done something back then to change my life. now i'm sure that i'm going to be in the same situation that i am in for now, i have no energy to change. no energy to carry on. just want to disappear. i'm just watching people move on and i can't do the same for myself.