simple compassion : enough

''then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and i will listen to you. you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart. i will be found by you''
jeremiah 29 v 12-14

simplicity. humble. focus on God.

but, how to do that. all i do is think about this and that. too much clutter in my life. my own clutter and everyone elses. it's 2.15am and i dont want to go to sleep. what is wrong with me.
i've been thinking. too much.

i think that God is trying to teach me something in Phillippians. everywhere i turn and everything that i listen/read is philippians....yet i'm ignoring it. i need to study it better. i feel lost. lost with my life and the direction. i'm desperate to move on with my life but i can't. i have no skill, no chance of getting a job. i've lost my confidence. i dont want to see people anymore, dont want to help people. not because i dont want to, but because i've realised that i can't help people. i don't know anything, yet people ask me and i try, but i'm useless and make things worse for them. i feel for Ninny, but i can't do anything. she's got a house that doesn't have anything, and, sigh, i dunno. i just have a bad feeling about things at the moment. mr a has a problem and i feel like i contributed to it somehow, i dunno why, i just feel bad. i relly dont want this thing to get him down. i really don't. i go to shano's house and mess up bayar's bike and the photos. i give up with myself. i really do. what use am i really?

so, how to live freely, to live as God wants me to?

my life is such a mess. God. how to go forward?