it's 2012!

bye bye 2011
hello 2012

new blog for thankfulness: http://hillchingho.blogspot.com/

Getting to know the Bible: Day 13

'' ¹⁶There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:

¹⁷ haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,

¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,

¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.''

proverbs 6 v 16-10

countdown to Christmas
me? i'm waiting till the 21st.
after that, no work for almost 2 weeks.
bliss.

sleep

i look like i've just woken up.
the truth is that i've hardly slept.
it's horrible
just feel like staring into space.
thinking.
about nothing.
I look like death.

where can i go? where can i run?
trapped
inside nothing,
i am nobody.
nothing.

my eyes just want to close.

Getting to know the Bible: Day 12

Hosea 8

Israel to Reap the Whirlwind

¹ Put the trumpet to your lips! An eagle is over the house of the LORD because the people have broken my covenant and rebelled against my law.

² Israel cries out to me,'O our God, we acknowledge you!'

³ But Israel has rejected what is good; an enemy will pursue him.

⁴ They set up kings without my consent; they choose princes without my approval. With their silver and gold they make idols for themselves to their own destruction.

⁵ Throw out your calf-idol, O Samaria! My anger burns against them. How long will they be incapable of purity?

⁶ They are from Israel! This calf— a craftsman has made it; it is not God. It will be broken in pieces, that calf of Samaria.

⁷They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. The stalk has no head; it will produce no flour. Were it to yield grain, foreigners would swallow it up.

⁸ Israel is swallowed up; now she is among the nations like a worthless thing.

⁹ For they have gone up to Assyria like a wild donkey wandering alone. Ephraim has sold herself to lovers.

¹⁰ Although they have sold themselves among the nations, I will now gather them together. They will begin to waste away under the oppression of the mighty king.

¹¹Though Ephraim built many altars for sin offerings, these have become altars for sinning.

¹² I wrote for them the many things of my law, but they regarded them as something alien.

¹³ They offer sacrifices given to me and they eat the meat, but the LORD is not pleased with them. Now he will remember their wickedness and punish their sins: They will return to Egypt.

¹⁴ Israel has forgotten his Maker and built palaces; Judah has fortified many towns. But I will send fire upon their cities that will consume their fortresses.

Getting to know the Bible: Day 11

'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'
matt 4 v 4


but...this mixed shwarma was pretty damned good

Getting to know the Bible: Day 10

''each man's life is but a breath''
ps 39 v 5


odd snacks

Getting to know the Bible: Day 9

''Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God— this is your spiritual act of worship.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will.''

romans 12 v 1-2

Getting to know the Bible: Day 8

''trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding''
proverbs 3 v 5



that is so much easier said than done.

Getting to know the Bible: Day 7

''I the LORD do not change''
malachi 3 v 6



you know, people change, all the time.
i've changed.
may be it can be for the good, usually the opposite though.
i've turned into a depressive.
i watched 'The Notebook' again last night. didn't sleep till about 4am.
i periodically go between my three dvd's that i watch when i'm in this mood:
love actually, notting hill, the notebook.
the latter has now been added to this collection as i have watched the other two way too many times, it's scary.
i've kicked out 'spirited away' and 'beauty and the beast' because cartoons make me fall asleep even faster and the point is that i stay awake.
beauty and the beast is still my all time favourite movie.

Getting to know the Bible: Day 6

''be strong in the LORD and in his mighty power''
Ephesians 6 v 10


but i don't feel strong

what is this?

i have absolutely no idea what this is.
it's weird.
all i know i that mihaela gave it to me on the day she left work.
it's from romania.
just love the randomness of my friends sometimes.

i have wasted today.
didn't feel like i could do anything, so i haven't
i wonder how long i can carry on like this.
feel like screaming but to who, to where.
leaves me wondering where the future is.

man, i've made so many stupid mistakes.
there's no turning back....
it's a trap.
a never-ending loop that has no hole.

God, may you grant me peace.

hide

ever had the feeling like you want to hide, disappear and ignore the world?
unfortunately, when youu do that; the world doesn't seem to hide with you.
it just carries on.
regardless.

Getting to know the Bible: Day 5

Psalm 63

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

¹ O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

²I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.

³ Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

⁴ I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

⁵ My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.

⁷ Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

⁸ My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

⁹They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.

¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.

¹¹But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced

fat

i'm seriuosly fat now
all i do is eat

i'm depressed
i'm tired

how the hell do i get out of this hole?

Getting to know the Bible: Day 4

''we have the mind of Christ''
2 Corinthians 2 v 16



today i feel sad...tired...lonely

i'm actually quite disappointed in the way that i work.
i can't really do my job properly.
but, thankfully, the conversation class went ok.
in fact it was hilarious!
we talked about camels, water chickens, water cows (buffalo) amongst other things. it's great. we had one person from iraq, two from libya, one from japan and me! what a mix!

i miss a lot of people.
it hurts.
i miss the happy me.
dunno where she's gone.

sigh

where did the past go?



i'm just randomly searching for jobs.
came across a job at refugee action kingston, in London.
it's just like ARKH.
i feel just how i was 5 years ago, trying to find something to do, some random job.
but i'm older.
i still have no direction.
there's something about refugees and asylum seekers that stirs something inside me.
ARKH was such a big part of my life.
i miss it.
i miss the life that i had.

missing mr k.
but it's good. i'm doing good. it's not easy, but staying strong.
losing interest in my work, in life. i find no passion in myself to do anything, to see anyone.

what is the way out?

Getting to know the Bible: Day 3

''for prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.''
2 peter 1 v 21



everything is from God

altar

house of prayer

need to make my life into a life of prayer
need to build an altar to the Lord

p r a y e r

Getting to know the Bible: Day 2

''I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.''
John 6 v 35



satisfaction.
where do you get it from?
I guess we spend our whole life trying to find that thing thats suposed to make you happy.
for some people its marriage, children, friends, money, work. material things.
many people would say that winning the lottery would solve all their problems.
what did the people in Jesus' time want?

why is life so complicated now? there is so much technology. we spend all our time in front of a screen, whether it's the TV, computer or mobile. i see technology slowly seeping into our everyday life and taking over our relationships and time. i have a better relationship with my computer than with the people that i live with. i have even started to realise this with the people who i regularly visit. a couple of years ago, i used to visit them and things were simple. we would just sit and chat. despite the language barrier. now, i help them with facebook. we spend our time staring at the laptop screen.

who am i? i am once again finding myself in a lost state of mind.
i actually feel lonely.
i have never really felt like this before.
not until now.

however, funny things do happen. i went out with hui and her boyfriend for dinner. prayed that i would get some chance to share the gospel with them. not that i knew what to say. ended up that they brought the subject of religion up and we chatted freely. thank you God that i know so many muslims that i understand a bit. her bf said that he was interested in visiting a church! haha...even Hui hasnt been to our proper church service before. may be there is chance that we can go to church together, and it wasn't even my suggestion.....doesn't God work in miraculous ways, in the ways that we least expect.

316

''for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.''
john 3:16

where is my hope.
life really is quite loney.